The Family
by darkangel56
Summary: Bella meets the man of her dreams. His name is Jasper Hale. He is as broken as she is, but can she fix the thing that he needs most... If you are looking for a happy ending read a different story. Also all human in this.


**All human. Hear my soul speak. Review if you want. This is more of a confession of the soul than anything. The end is not the truth, just one of my greatest fears. This is pretty much fiction, except the start. I really do have a Jasper that means the world to me. I hope someone out there can like it, or appreciate it. **

BPOV

We met in college. I had been engaged to a man named Edward Cullen. To those around us we looked like the perfect couple. On the inside though our relationship was full of tears and fights. I hadn't been happy for a year and a half. We were going to marry once I had gotten out of college. He was far away in a different state. The distance was the final nails in the coffin of our relationship. It really does not matter so much about Edward though. The one that matters here is a sweet man named Jasper Hale.

I met Jasper through a friend. I should really have thanked her because he was the best thing that ever happened in my life. Jasper had started off by trying to get me to call Edward back after our fights. He would hold me when I would cry over the pain in my heart. I knew Edward was only going to hurt me through the years of marriage because he hurt me by way of my emotions all of the time we had been together. Jasper listened to each of those pains as I remembered them.

As Jasper listened to my pains I listened to his greatest pain. He had been with a girl who he had loved. She had gotten pregnant twice. The second time was right before they broke up. So she didn't tell him about her being pregnant till she had lost it. It killed him inside. I did the best I could do. I held him as he told me about it and I didn't judge or say anything when he cried.

A month later it was officially over between Edward and I. I was in love with Jasper. When I was with him I felt whole. I hadn't felt like this ever in my life. The love I had thought I felt before was down graded to puppy love. There was just something special between us.

The happy moments were few and far between in that relationship as well, but not because of lack of trying. He got kicked out of the college where we had met. He lived in the same state but it was a four hour drive between where I was and where he was. We didn't get to see each other very much in the first four years of our relationship. We would get to see each other three or four times a year, but we spoke to each other everyday.

When I finished college and he was done with his externship for a cooking program I moved down with him. He proposed to me and we were married. Things started to turn out for the better. We moved into a little apartment outside of the city. He started cooking in a very upscale restaurant. I got a teaching job in the local high school teaching history.

There were some days when we were really happy. Then there were the days when I could see the pain in his eyes. I knew what he wanted, the family he was denied years ago. I knew part of him wished they could have made it. I knew that because every year like clockwork he would get sad for a few days. It was the anniversaries of when they were supposed to be born.

We started to try for a child. I prayed every night that I would get pregnant. Every month though my period came. We tried for months. Months turned into a year. A year turned into two. I could see it was hurting him more to try and have no luck than not to try.

One afternoon I went and got checked. It turns out that I wasn't fertile. They told me that I was probably never going to be able to have a child. I broke down right there in the office. What could I do now? I could not give my husband the one thing he wants most, a little girl. We had talked about what we would do hypothetically if I could not have children. He said he didn't want to take part in adoption. The other options would have to have money saved up to do. He wanted a child that came from me and him. Anything else just wouldn't be the same.

I had to go home that night with the thought that I would tell Jasper the horrible news. I just couldn't tell him. He could tell something was wrong, but let it drop when I continued to tell him nothing was wrong.

It was a week later that I finally got up the courage to tell Jasper. He took it harder than I thought. He went and drove around for seven hours before he finally came back home. He didn't really talk for the next week. There were a few small kisses here and there that week. A hug from time to time. Other than those few things Jasper really didn't touch me at all in that week.

After that things went back to normal, for a time only. After I told him he seemed to be more hesitant to touch me in any kind of intimate way. My heart started to break. I could feel him pulling away even if he was not aware of it himself yet.

Months went by. He grew into a deeper and deeper depression. One day I came home from a late night. I had staid after school to grade papers. When I walked through the door there were three suit cases in the kitchen. He didn't say much. Jasper told me that he needed to get away for a while. The bills were all paid off for the next two months. He needed to get his thoughts in order.

He walked out that night. I cried myself to sleep. It was four months before I heard anything from him. The words I heard from him were "I want a divorce." They were short sweet and to the point. I gave him the divorce and we sold the house. He took half and I took half. Everything was split as even as we could. I went back to my home town.

There were not any teaching positions open so I had to substitute. When I was not doing that I was a history tutor as well as a temp for an agency. At night I went to my little one room apartment and thought to myself how my life could go from so wonderful to this. I started drinking again. The alcohol kept the feelings away for as long as the darkness from the passing out held.

I heard from some friends I had made in the city that Jasper had married again. Her name was Rosalie. She was pretty. She also was pregnant with their second girl. I hated her with every ounce of my soul. Jasper still meant the world to me. The only thing that had gone wrong was that I could not fill that part of his soul that dreamed and needed a family.

That night I drank an extra lot. Have you ever done that? Drank so much that you thought you could do anything. Well that night I believed I could drive all the way to the city to tell him that he meant everything to me and that I was sorry I couldn't be enough. I got maybe three miles down the road. I swerved off the road. I ended up flipping the car three times or more. I really lost count in my drunken haze. I closed my eyes. I smiled cause I could see him again. He was coming up to me like he used to. I heard someone yell mommy. I turned my head to see a little girl that looked like a perfect mix of Jasper and I. This was the family I was supposed to have. When they found me half an hour later they said I had a smile on my face along with tear marks down my face. That was how I died. He never knew.


End file.
